Television's most decorated unmarried couple racked up five combined Emmy nominations this year for separate projects, yet the pair told Variety they still have no plans to walk down the aisle after thirteen years together.
Russell, 50, and Rhys, 51, sat for a rare joint interview at an upstate New York hotel on the final day of a family vacation. Russell had just wrapped Season 4 of "The Diplomat" in late June. Rhys was riding a wave of critical praise for "Widow's Bay," the Apple TV+ series that earned more Emmy nominations than any other new show this year. Between them, the couple picked up nods for acting and executive producing, a haul that places them alongside a short list of real-life couples nominated in the same cycle, including Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, Tracy Letts and Carrie Coon, and Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor.
For Russell, the nominations carry extra weight. She has anchored television hits since "Felicity" premiered in 1998, when she was 22. She has never won an Emmy. Rhys took home the best actor in a drama trophy in 2018 for "The Americans," the FX spy thriller that ran six seasons and brought the two together.
Debora Cahn, who created "The Diplomat" after writing for "The West Wing" and "Homeland," told Variety that Russell was a reluctant recruit. Cahn described the stakes bluntly:
"She was not in the market for something like this. It was very clear in my mind that if she wasn't having a great experience, it wasn't going to happen again. If it didn't work out for her life and for her family, there wasn't going to be a Season 2."
Russell confirmed the hesitation. She described herself as someone who treasures routine over red carpets.
"I do like my life, my quiet little life. I like pitter-pattering around the house and doing my little laundry, and putting everything in its order. Lately, the type of jobs we take, we tend to be one of the main characters. So that's full-on. You have to be willing to do that and only that. So it's a negotiation with yourself. It was a big leap for the family to go."
The family did go. "The Diplomat" shoots in London, and its third season pulled in the show's highest Emmy nomination tally yet. Russell plays U.S. Ambassador Kate Wyler opposite Rufus Sewell, whose character rises to vice president in Season 3, and Allison Janney, who plays the president. Russell calls the series a show about marriage, the friction, the competition, the geography.
"It is a show about marriage. It's about the negotiations of work, the competition, the negotiations of geography."
Cahn wove Russell's own self-doubt into the character. The creator said Russell projects poise the rest of the world can see but she cannot.
"We all see this incredible, breathtaking beauty and poise. And she seems to think that she's constantly falling apart at the seams, held together with spit and duct tape. Anybody who meets her says, 'Oh, that's not really how the rest of the world is perceiving you.'"
Rhys, a Welshman trained at London's Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, plays Mayor Tom Loftis in "Widow's Bay," a character whose ambition to turn a small town into the next Martha's Vineyard is grounded by a single priority: his son. Kingston Rumi Southwick plays the boy, Evan, and Rhys said the father-son dynamic gave the part an emotional anchor that cut through the show's tonal risks.
"His ultimate objective is to see his son bloom. It immediately grounds you, in a way. You go, 'I need my f***ing son to flourish, and I will ignore the madness around me because I will stay this course.' That does something to me. It grounds everything in a real place."
Katie Dippold, who created "Widow's Bay" alongside director Hiro Murai, said Rhys brought a depth to the role that kept the character from becoming a punchline.
"It's such a treat to have this person who's so funny, but will give you the most emotionally devastating scene you could imagine. You see everything in his eyes. There's a version of this character that's just the fool, and you're disconnected from him, but Matthew takes you on a journey with this character. You feel everything he's feeling."
Rhys admitted the cast and crew held their breath before the show's reception came in. "Everyone was nervous as to how it was going to be received," he said. "We all kept asking, 'Did we get the tone right? What is this tone?' It's this great relief that people want this original programming, these risks."
Russell watches the show with their middle child, their 10-year-old son, and made no effort to hide her enthusiasm. "I love the fish," she said, referencing a detail from the series. "It has a little iridescence on it. Isn't that cool?"
The engagement question has followed Russell and Rhys since the 2018 Emmy ceremony. That night, director Glenn Weiss accepted his award for directing the Oscars telecast and then, instead of exiting the stage, brought his girlfriend up and proposed on live television. The moment consumed roughly eight minutes of airtime. Other winners had been given about 45 seconds each.
Rhys won his Emmy later that same evening. In his acceptance speech, he referenced Russell's threat to punch him if he tried anything similar. The comment drew attention, and not all of it was friendly.
"I took some heat for that," Rhys recalled, slipping into what the interviewer described as a pinched American accent to mimic a critic: "Why s*** on that guy's moment?" His defense was practical: "Because we were all given 45 seconds, and that guy got eight minutes. You know what I'm saying?"
Russell's position on public proposals has not softened. "Do it on your own time, man!" she said. "For me to have to do anything public is horrifying." Asked what she would do if Rhys proposed onstage, she did not hesitate: "I would die. I would say no. Good night!"
Rhys, laughing, imagined her response in fuller terms: "Get off the stage! Take your little award the f*** offstage!" Russell did not disagree.
The interview turned to training, and the gap between the two became a running thread. Rhys studied at RADA. Russell performed on the 1990s Disney Channel revival of the Mickey Mouse Club, the same franchise that produced Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Ryan Gosling, and describes herself as otherwise self-taught.
"I have zero training, unless..." she started. Then, with a grin: "I mean, 'Mickey Mouse Club' was formidable."
She credited her early years on "Felicity" with teaching her what she did not need to do. "Before I really knew what acting was, on 'Felicity,' I would watch the girls," she said. "I was like, 'Oh, right, I don't have to do any of that.' I didn't wear makeup and wore big, baggy sweaters, and there's a real freedom to that. You get to be funny; you get to be loose. It's hard to do the other stuff."
Russell was candid about the difference between her approach and Rhys'. "Matthew's a trained actor," she said. "He's a trained, meticulous actor, and I don't have any of that. I can do something instinctually, naturally, but I don't have the other stuff."
Rhys, for his part, noted Russell's dance background. She waved it off. He pressed. She conceded nothing.
Rhys picked up nominations for both "Widow's Bay" and "The Beast in Me," a Netflix project in which he plays a psychopathic real estate scion. On the day of the interview, he received yet another job offer from an unnamed high-profile writer, details he shared off the record. Russell urged him to tell the interviewer anyway, and when he declined, she laughed: "That's OK, who cares? The one that you literally just got offered today. It's so funny!"
Russell noted the difference in how the two approach new work. "You're not as picky about things," she told Rhys. "You're like, 'Great, I'll do it.' It was scary for me."
Her Emmy competition this cycle includes Zendaya, nominated for "Euphoria," and Rhea Seehorn, nominated for "Pluribus." Russell has never taken home the award despite decades of lead roles. Rhys already has his trophy from 2018.
Both said they find comfort in playing characters who are losing, not winning. "You always want to be losing," Russell explained. "You don't ever want to be, like, 'She's the best surgeon in the entire Northeast.'"
Russell described "Widow's Bay" as an escape from the weight of current events, a quality she said felt rare. "It's such a delightful departure from the s*** that we're in," she said. "There is not a mention in the show so far for me about what's happening, the destruction of our country." She paused. "It's such a delightful departure to just enjoy. And that's unique."
Rhys offered a quieter correction. "Well, there is," he said, referencing political content embedded in the show. "In the crawlspace. That's Trump."
The couple's upstate retreat, where they gather with a circle of friends they call their "Mountain Family", nearly proved unreachable. Floods wiped out the roads between Brooklyn and the hotel a couple of days before the interview, delaying the Variety reporter's earlier attempt to visit. By the time the interviewer arrived, it was the last day of the vacation. Russell and Rhys were relaxed, finishing up before heading back to their Brooklyn home and the next round of work.
Rhys admitted he still winces watching himself on screen. "There's some hard wincing," he said. Russell does not appear to share that problem.
Thirteen years, five nominations, no ring, and no apology for any of it. In an industry that runs on spectacle, Russell and Rhys seem content to let the work do the talking, and keep the proposals offstage where they belong.
